[Ducati] NDC - This Never Happened

[Harlyn Jenkins]

Got this off another list:

 

This Never Happened 
by dean adams 
Summer, 1991 

(I wrote this for Sport Rider magazine in 1991 but it was deemed a bit over
the top by the powers that be and it was never published.)

The scene: the long, banked grounds of the Texas Motor Speedway in College
Station, Texas in the early 1990s. A secret test held by one AMA Superbike
team was the reason the crew, the riders, the transporter and few others
were in attendance. Only a skeleton corner-working crew looked on. Press and
observers were banned. One could surmise that the manufacturer in question
had a motorcycle there they did want not want anyone else to see.

A problem arose when the riders took to the track on their Superbikes. As it
had been weeks, maybe even months, since any previous vehicles had toured
the course, a thick layer of Texas dust settled on the track surface, making
traction a hard commodity to come by. Something needed to be done, as with
no traction, a test would be meaningless. And no, there wasn't any track
cleaning equipment available.

The team manager, a sage type, had seen this before and he stopped the bikes
from circulating and entered the track with his own rental car, driving at a
slow pace to scrub the dust from the surface. It worked splendidly, although
too slowly for most tastes.

More cars and higher speeds would be needed. Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

Riders jumped in their rental cars, mechanics too. A tire manufacturer was
there as well, and they joined in. Soon there were five or six rental
vehicles on the Superspeedway, rocketing down the straight and into the high
banked corners. It bears mentioning that the team manager, mechanics and
tire personnel were almost all ex-racers. The ex-racers and racers were
driving rental cars on an abandoned racetrack, you get the picture?

After a several leisurely laps at a brisk trot, caution went out the window
and the pace increased. Throttles were pinned and seatbelts were fastened
... tightly. In a scene out of your favorite NASCAR race, speeds went above
110mph, door handles were scrubbed against each other and mucho automobile
abuse began. Drivers came back to the paddock area with new information:
"Did you know that cruise control works at 130mph?" one asked. Or that
simply rolling the all windows up was good for an additional six mph on the
banking. Brake and tire smoke filled the air.

The automobiles, which were newer sports cars and luxury vehicles (other
than the mini-van) when they were rented (with the full and optional
insurance, mind you) simply and quickly began to disintegrate. Designed to
haul Joe America from his house to his job each day on a sedate expressway,
the machines were way out of their element traveling at 130mph, with severe
G forces pushing against them.

In this test one the editors from Consumer Reports could only dream about,
parts failure skyrocketed. One nearly brand new machine became a creaking,
frame bent, tires rubbing against the fenders, seat belts sacked out from
trying to hold the driver (and his passenger) in the seat against the G
forces, doors won't open, now the dash is loose too, machine, ready for the
scrap yard, in less than thirty minutes, without ever touching the wall or
another automobile.

The DOT tires and brake pads were good for about ten laps at most and then
began to go off in a big way. Then things got very interesting. With
chassis, suspension and now tires worn well past their limits, the cars
began to assume the fetal position. Traveling at well over one hundred mph,
several cars would spin out of control with no provocation from the driver. 

"I'd get all four tires sliding pretty good," said one rider, "and all of a
sudden the whole car would just go away, spinning right off the track. You
can't do anything to save it when a car is spinning at one hundred mph in
the sand." 

The frank look of astonishment on that rider's face defied description.

The quote of the episode belonged to one of the mechanics, who said that
amidst one 100mph spinning incident he "... knew I was in real trouble when
fist-sized rocks started coming through the open windows of the car."

ENDS